Hello Lovelies
I just need somewhere to rant and here I am ..
If so, can I just cry myself out loud .. ? I'm really so emotionally tired and I'm feeling so depressed and lost, tired and all .. don't understand why has life been so difficult and tiring . Sometime I really feel like going somewhere alone and have a break but I know I can't and I don't have the time to do so because I've so much on me, so much that I've to carried.
I know I chosen this path and I never regret having the two precious, but sometimes I just feel tired and I doubt anyone could understand how it feels when you've so much on your shoulder when you're only just not even 20 years old. Who could feel me deeply? No one unless you been through what I'm going through now ..
Don't come tell me that you know how I felt when you ain't going through what I'm going through, don't tell me you can understand and feel all the tiredness, pain, and everything that I'm feeling now when you didn't even went through it .. DON'T BULLSHIT ME WITH ALL THE "I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL" !
I know there might be people laughing at me and stuff but seriously, I don't give a damn so just laugh by all means .. Just remember, I'm really happy with what I have now but it's just that I feel tired at times ..
I've finally bid good bye to someone I once love dearly, one whom I once thought that he was my everything and stupidly made him my everything .. and goes mad with myself whenever he hurts me ..
At last, finally, at last, I have put him down and can't wait to just leave him because I know that I will NEVER EVER return back to his side anymore, because I know that " A leopard will never change it's spots " . Being hurt once, twice, thrice is more than enough but I was hurt more than that , and I take so long to learn my mistake and correct myself from the mistake ..
I'm done with it .. finally done with it !!!
& Also, he is still the usual self. Pathetic and lost, one who don't deserve everything that I do and worth pity for .. still flirting around and playing around. Recently, he found himself another new prey and I really pity all these girls who fall into his trap and "fall in love" with him ..
but well, I can only wish them luck .. because I gave them all the warning already that all he want was to satisfy his needs and attention, he don't even love them at all .. but well, that's not my problem already, just hope that he could stop pestering me.
For both of my kids, I will stay strong and hang on . No matter how big I have to sacrifice, I will do it just to ensure that no one hurts them . I'm gonna use my life to love, care and protect them with all the strength I have . Because I'm now both the Daddy and Mommy role (':
