Ever since I was young, it's really rare to have good things to happen on me. Sometime I am at my lowest in life thinking why am I even born in the world, thinking that what have I done that I have to go through what I am going through right now. I am still clueless, I still don't know why and I doubt anyone can explain to me either. I can't do anything about it because no matter how much I complain I still need to accept it and press on.
At the age of 15, I get to know him and I was so sure that it was he who I want to be with forever. Until 2011, when he propose to me and after that I found out that I was pregnant and we got married. To be honest, I am happy because I am a somebody's Wife and somebody's Mommy. However, he destroy all the happiness that I had. He made me turn to someone that I would never want to be, he makes me hate.
I never wanted to be someone like now. I never thought that I would need to learn to be independent. I never thought that I would have to go through everything alone. I have never thought that I would be a single mom either. There's actually a lot of "I have never thought that" in my mind. Too much that I don't even know where to start. But I'm glad at least I still got my family and friends with me supporting me and encouraging me. (': Really appreciate all the words from them.
Everyone at my age (20 years old) probably are leading a much more carefree life and having fun out there while I am stuck at home and work to work hard for my two girls. Yes, it's tiring at times that I feel so annoyed and just feel like giving up and just have fun but no way am I doing that because I know I still got the responsibility in me to look and to take care of my two girls well. Thus, I am really trying my best to give what I can give to them. I think the only thing I can give them now would be love as there's nothing much I can give other than love.
After so much happening in my life, I think I slowly grow and learn that I have to love myself more because no one would do it for me. I learn that no matter what happen I still gotta be strong and press on. I learn that I have to do whatever is best for my girls. I learn that no matter how tough life is going to be, it's still going to be worthwhile because I have them. I know even if life gets hard and I feel all alone, I just gotta remember I always mean the world to someone, and they're the one calling me Mom.
To everyone out there that is in their lowest part of life, remember tough time will be over soon. It's just like rainbow will come after rain. Believe in whatever that is happening now is for a good reason in the future. Trust me, everything will be fine, everything will comes to a end. Bad things does happen but it's never for long. Cheers! If you feel down and need someone to talk to, I'm here:)
Loves.
