@ t h e v e l l e r i n e a l l e y: August 2014

Karma will strike

I wonder really, do you have nothing much to do in your life? Are you really that bored to keep gossiping about people or are is it that my life is so much interesting than yours and you went around, oh no, went to my ex-Husband and gossip to him that Sherrine wasn't his biological? Anyway, if you are the one then should I also be like you, let people around you to know that you ever did something inhuman before?

If you really want to start this piece of shit, I really don't mind but I don't want to be like you. How old are you already? Few years older than me and what's growing in your pea brain? Immaturity and stupidity, lacking of attention from people and trying to gain some from me. From the moment we were once friend, I took you as a friend and I even fucking tears and got upset when you left me for some stupid reason. And now, this is how you fucking treat me after you un-friend me? You start talking shits about me, spread stupid shits about me. Go ahead. I don't care once I strike you off from my life.

But bitch, let me tell you something, I am a bitch as well. You can talk shit about me, but you don't ever bring a child into the picture by saying that she's not the biological daughter of someone, or etc. Because if I ever heard that from you in my face, I'll not hesitate to give you a tight slap. Because you've hurt my daughter, and I won't and never will let anyone hurt my daughters.

You know who you are if you're the one spreading around that my daughter's ain't my ex's biological. If you did not spread then no, I am not talking about you. Don't place yourself in what I have said.

Always remember, karma will strike.

记得要积点口德，不然会有报应的；不是不报，是时辰未到。

I'm Just Tired

Disclaimer: This update is just me ranting and it could be no linked at all .. I don't even know what I am talking about .. I just type whatever that's coming from my mind and how I felt.

Leave this page if you have negative comments.

Recently, or probably this few days, I've been feeling quite down and I could not find an answer to why am I feeling that way. I just felt really mentally tired, it could be because both my girls are sick, they got cranky and snap, it just got to my nerves and my patience just ain't there. I mean, yes, it's pretty normal that they would get cranky but how can I got cranky together with them .. ?

Tired... it's just tired that's playing around.

Nowadays, I've been sleeping around One or Two in the morning; slept about 4 or 5 hours? I just can't goes to sleep despite feeling the tiredness in me. WHAT'S WRONG? I don't know. I really have no idea what's going on in my body now. I just felt down .. felt tired .. felt that I'm breaking down.

When the exhaustion is pushing me ... I asked myself, "Why am I working so hard for? Who am I working so hard for?" There's only ONE answer to the questions I asked myself. "For my daughter's future, for my daughters'." Yes, for them and they are always my priority. Whatever I do, whatever decision I made, no matter what it is, they are always my first consideration.

I'm trapped in my own mind.

I wished that I could escape from that and stop feeling this way to demoralized myself.

I could be demoralizing myself .. but I don't know why are I am disaffected, put off, bummed out, bored with all the cynicism and happy talk. I just want to close myself up from people around me, besides my family members or people that I have and must communicate to. If not, most of the time I am facing only myself and keeping myself in my own world ..

Life right now is just waking up, preparing and head to work; during work - I'll do my task, take a small break, listening to music and ... head home. While I reach home, as usual, shower and have my dinner after which, I'll hang around with my girls and when they head to bed, I'll head to bed also, looking at my phone and read through articles, watch some drama and listen to songs then I'll head to bed. And snap, it's the next day... I feel so dead and I could just not bother replying my friends' messages.. I didn't do that on purpose, but I just don't know what should I say..

The very last movie that I watched was Transformer, the very last time I head out with my friends was about one month plus. Aftermath, I didn't head out with any friends, beside with my family members. Friends asked me out, but I turned them down; I just don't want to head to anywhere at all, I feel bored not because they are but for that I felt that way ... and tired to head out.

I had enough. Enough of what I am going through now.

Especially my ex-Husband.

The nonsense he gave, the fucking attitude that I'm dealing with; I really had enough.

How I wished that I could just give him a tight slap on his face. He's really the worst nightmare I ever had.

But I know, no matter what, I must not give up yet because my daughters still needs me.

I know I ought to be strong and face every problem that is coming up but .... I have to say that I'm worried that I can't deal with this anymore, I'm not strong enough and I'm tired of pretending that I am. But who actually knows that? Well, I doubt anyone do.

It has been ... almost going two years that I am standing independently supporting my daughters, glad that people around me like my family members and best friends are supporting me, be it that it's financially, mentally or physically supports. Every single bit of them are appreciated and glad that they're always here with me to pull me through all this.

However, the biggest motivation and supports are from my daughters.

All I need is just them to be safe and healthy, with their smiles, laughter, hugs, kisses and "mama". With all that, I'm all ready to fight no matter how exhausted I am. Because that's the power of love that I have for them. I'm soon gonna be a 3 years old Mommy :)

Having them in my life,

is the greatest achievement that I ever had.

From the moment I gave birth to them, I gave them my forever to love them.

Where has all the time gone to, I've yet to feel the youth and now, I'm old.

For that "Mommy" that they call me, I gave them my forever to love them.

Where has all the time gone to, I've yet to see you clearly and now my eyes are all blur.

For all your happiness, I gave you my forever to make sure you're blessed.

Where has all the time gone to? It has all gone with the forever I gave you, with all the love that I had given.

H e l l o A u g u s t !

It's been a while since I updated my blog, I updated the space. I'm sorry about it, not sure if anyone still read but here I am, I want to reactive this blog and space again. Blogging has always been a way for me rant, to relieve out my stress and unhappiness. Thus, I'm gonna make the blog some informative blog as well. Though I'm not sure how should I do it yet.

If not, I'll just stick to letting it be a personal updating space.

And I know it might get kinda boring.

It has been almost a month plus since I started my new job. And I really like the new environment there. The people, which are my colleagues, they are really nice. In the office, it feels more like we are a family, more than just a colleagues. That's how I felt. They might be scolding vulgarities a lot, but they do care for you as well, and their joke often makes me laugh out loud. I really like the new job. Though I have to keep staring at the computer for 6-7 hours everyday.

The first day I went to work.

At first it sounds like it's kinda complicating and difficult but slowly when things are getting on hand, I find it still acceptable and still alright for me. Glad to have a great Team Lead that teaches me well, she's really patience and answer all of my question. Sometime, I thought I might be annoying because I keep asking but she keep telling me that it's okay and explain in a more clearer way for me.

The day when I head to work wearing the new polka dot top. My first attempt in polka dot top.

With my girls that is just awake and we're looking more alike now ^^

After weeks of training, I finally own a desktop to do my work. So, I did myself a new wallpaper and set as my desktop wallpaper. It works as my motivation and also. Work can be really busy at time, staring at computer for long hours also kills, it's not that easy but the environment of the work is enjoyable! :)

That day when I meet up with my babe for dinner at Ice Edge Cafe.

That day when I meet up my Mom and Shervelle for lunch before she start her school.

By the way, did I mention that LeGirl, Shervelle has attended school since 1st July 2014? It's been a month since she goes to school. The first two weeks was kinda bad because there are time when she'll get cranky and doesn't wants to go but as day passes, she starts to love school and that's definitely a good thing. Each time she comes back from school, she'll definitely learn something new and gets me to understand and follow what she is doing and I'm really happy that she loves school.

And the two occasion that she has attend in school is Racial Harmony Day and National Day.

Bought a cheongsum for her to celebrate Racial Harmony Day. And with that, we also made a hat for her to bring to school for National Day. I felt another different feeling when she start attending school and especially whenever I comes home and she start telling me things she learn from school, singing song that she learnt from school and telling me what she eat in school. Another milestone, another progress she have made.

I'm really glad that I can participate in all this milestone together with me.

It just felt that I gave birth to her and now she's turning 3 in another 3 months time.
So many heartfelt moment at times.

And I chopped off my long hair to mid length hair ~

I guess, I will update till here.

Stay on for my next update, will definitely do a better update on my space.

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Till the next time :)

❥ S h e r r i n e ' s 1 s t B i r t h d a y !

The long awaited day, the day where I started planning about 5-6 months before.

Le'Girl, Sherrine's 1st Birthday !

When I was planning the birthday, our decided venue was at home but at the last minutes, we decided to go for chalet because my Dad is inviting his colleague over to this joyous moment. Thus if to celebrate at home would be really cramp. Looking around for venue, because it was like 3 months before and her birthday falls on June which is school holiday, so a lot of the chalet are actually booked. And we got kinda worry. :( But at last, we manage to book the chalet at Aloha Loyang Garden Terrace. ^^

Things to be prepared were already ordered, eg, buffet, BBQ, decorations, goodies, customized T-Shirt and the most important, birthday cake! It doesn't take me long to prepare all the item, it's only the quantity to order makes troubled. Because we were worrying that we won't be ordering enough, or not if we were to order too much. So, it's kinda frustrating over this part.

So, I order her cake about 2 months before the celebrations. Yes, as usual, I ordered from Pine Garden. I really love their cake and this time round the design that I have chosen is really beautiful. Anyway, her birthday theme was Hello Kitty. Most of the things I done is related to Hello Kitty. :D

Because choosing what to wear and preparing what to wear is also another problem. So I customized the T-Shirt myself and have it printed over at Art Serve @ Tampines Mall (Level 4). It might be kinda plain, but it's not very cheap uh, it's costly but worth it. So, for clothing, we are settle. We gonna wear this with denim short pants! :D

Next up, get online to order the balloons at Party WholeSale because I got discount from BBQ Wholesale for ordering BBQ from them. I would really recommend to order the BBQ food from them, it's already marinated and the food are really delicious. Especially, cup otah and sambal sotong ! I ordered quite a lot of the two because it finishes up very fast!

Aftermath, I head over to KidzPartyStore to buy some decoration as well. They've Hello Kitty Tattoos, I bought but I forget to bring it out that day, so it's a waste thou ! :( Kinda upset. I bought the table cover and banner for decoration. I can't remember what else did I bought ..

With that, I also order Butter Cookies from one of my Mommies' Group friend. The cookies are really awesome and the cookies are in Hello Kitty shape, so it's really beautiful! Super love. I also order Candy Floss from Candy House SG, their candy floss are awesomely tasty because it comes with flavors and it's consider affordable for me! Must get for party but not to order too much. I'd also prepare goodies bags for kids that are coming, I got the goodie bag from Daiso, candies from supermarket.

Not forgetting that, with all of the above, I handmade Sherrine's Birthday Banner as well and also, I made a montage to be played during her birthday party. It spend me a lot of time to do and to cut the banner, the video as well, the editing and all.. I love montage because it's like a memory to me.

On the 30th May,

We prepare and head over to the chalet with all the decoration and necessities for the celebration.

We've arrive to the Garden Terrace and we're located at:

It's really big, and if you want bigger you can get the other chalet that are located in Aloha Loyang.

All the information can be taken from their website. Their living room are average, they've a separate kitchen also in average size. Their washroom and bathroom are separated which is good, because you won't have to worry no toilet to use if someone's bathing. Beside that, they've two bed room, a room with two double deck bed and one room with two single bed.

Below photo are what I've mention above:

That night, I spend the whole night formatting the video to made it playable on the TV. I failed, but thankful that my friend actually help me to do so and it was playable. Overnight at the chalet with my sister, two aunts and grandma. I slept kinda late. But woke up super early because I am very excited to get the things prepared and decorated.

I moved the table here and there, to see where should I place it and how should I place so it would be easier for us to take photo with the birthday girl with the birthday cake. And also to have the decoration up. Start putting up small decoration that I printed and cut it out myself. Aftermath, the balloons, cookies and

candy floss are here. I start to decorate and place them on the table.

This girl munch up a few pieces of cookies!

I really like the candy floss so much, it's in pastel color!

My own printed and cut out banner is another that I really like it a lot. ^^

Really a very proud one that I ever did.

Anyway, next, the buffet and BBQ came. I order for about .... I can't remember. I ordered from MeiHao99, it's non-halal buffet catering but their food are really nice. It's the third time I ordered from them.

There's a lot of friends that attend, friends that it has been awhile that I contacted has also been invited and I'm glad that they manage to take out their precious time to attend this joyous celebration. Thankful for your attendance and for people whom I've been calling and calling and not attending, I have see through and know that you are not a friend at all. Thanks for letting me know.

AND THE LONG AWAITED BEAUTIFUL CAKE:

Isn't the cake beautiful ? I really like it so much because it's in pastel pink and the candies and marshmallow just make everything looks so beautiful. Thank you Pine Garden, I would definitely always purchase your cakes for special occasion and for the design like this !