A Mother.

What is a Mother? What does a Mother means to you?

 

Disclaimer: This blog post are just a personal point of view and ranting.

 

I wasn't quite sure about what a Mother is suppose to be like. I look at my Mom, Aunts amd people around me who is a Mother. There're Mother who are great and responsible but there Mother who are bad and irresponsible too. A role of Mother seems easy to be one, but not until the day I gave birth to Shervelle than I know that it wasn't easy at all. It was a difficult yet proud job. (Y)

 

Hereby, I wanna give a thumbs up to all Mother who are working really hard as a Mother and working woman, and two thumbs up for Single Mother like me because it was never an easy task but it's definitely a proud and worthy task. (Y)

 

I was a single Mother since September 2012, a single Mother for One year plus. I decided to become a single Mother because my ex-Husband was having affair outside and it was too much that when I forgiven him, he still doesn't admit his mistake and change but acting behind my back with the mistress, but well, it's all over now and I'm glad I made that choice of leaving him if not I wouldn't have found the real happiness, the one that love me and my kids so much like his own.

 

Single parenting is not easy, sometimes, stressful and tired but it has always been a enjoyable task. A single mother plays the role of both, a Father and a Mother. We tries hard to divide our time to fulfill all our duties as a Mother and a working woman. We strives to give the best for our kids; all single-handedly. Being a single Mother is a no easy job but many of us did it.

 

No one here is born to be a Mother or taught to be a Mother. We learn as we do, we learn as we are. The moment when we carried our child in us, we're a Mother. We are no longer just ourselves, the role of a Mother was never existed in us until we have a Child.

 

 

I was a Mother when I am 18 years old.
And now that I'm turning 21 years old, I am already a Mother of two.

 

At that point of time, 18 years old and I am already a Mother, many consider us as young parent but I don't think so. We're young at the numbers not our mindset and heart. We know that being a Mother at 18 years old is not young at all but probably because of the generation now, we're being looked at as a young Mother. For me, I just don't think so, because when my daughter turn 18 years old, I am already 36 years old, how is that young?

 

I may be right, I may be wrong, but this are just my point of view.

 

The moment when I knew I was pregnant, I felt excited, happy yet lost and troubled. Excited and happy because I am a Mother, I have a little heart inside me beating with me. Happy that I thought I will be spending my life with the one I loved the most but I was wrong but I am still happy right now because my life is doing even better without him. I was lost because I didn't know how I should told my parent about it and troubled that how am I going to support the Child when I am still a student that is not financially stable yet with no savings. A lot of mixed feelings, but until now I have never regretted being a Mother, in fact I enjoy and love being a Mother.

 

 

The moment when I knew I have them, without second thought about it, I decided that I would give birth to them. I never want to kill a innocent life, I don't bear to let go that little hand. Though when I have my second daughter, there are people who asked me to abort it, to sell it, to let others adopt it; but how can I, how will I bear to? I don't want to. I might not be able to give them luxury life, I might not be able to give them what other kids might have but I am trying very hard, striving very hard to give them the best in their life. For the past one year plus, I have been raising them on my own income with some help from my families.

 

However, being a single Mother; I can't help to feel guitly. For that I'm not able to give them a complete family, this is one that I am really sorry and guilty about. But I am sure that one day, my daughters will understand what's going on and why is that happening. For that I wasn't the one that make them fatherless. Their father was the one not cherishing the chances that I gave.

 

Marriage might have failed, but I'm definitely not a failed Mother. I do what a Mother has to do, though there are still spaces for improvement and to do a better job but I'm definitely better than their Father. After being a Mother, everything in my life have change. It's not just about myself but about my Child. They're the priority, they're the one that I never thought that I would really sacrifice so much for; no matter what I am doing or what I am going to do, they're the one that I have to spare a thought for first. Even that, I'm dying from hunger to save that few dollars for their stuff.

 

Motherhood is amazing. Being a Mother is not an easy job. It's a 24/7 unpaid job and it has no off days. However you just feel so contented and satisified when you hear the laughter from your Child; that's priceless. I never regret being a Mother at this time though I might have lost the freedom but these are nothing compared to my Child's happiness.

 

 

I love one of the song - In my daughter's eyes by martina mcbride.

The lyrics is meaningful, let me share with you a few lines of the meaningful lyrics.

 

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero. I am strong and wise and I know no fear but the truth is plain to see she was sent to rescue me. This miracles God gave to me give me strength when I am weak. And when she wraps her hand around my finger, it puts a smile in my heart. Everything becomes a little clearer, I realize what life is all about. It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough, it's giving more when you feel like giving up. I've seen the light; it's in my daugter's eyes.

 

The Cost of Having a Child in Singapore

 Hello Lovelies

I'm back updating the blog again, but somehow I realize each time when I have something to rant about I will definitely come back here to rant about it. Well, right now I do have thing to rant about because I really have enough of these people that thinks that raising a Child in Singapore is easy when they are not a parent or they are already one yet does not take up the responsibility to be a good one.

Let me share with you the articles:

 

(Source from: here)

During Pregnancy

You need the money to go for check up and a package of 10 consultations from the 16th week onward costs approximately $387 at a public hospital like the Singapore General Hospital. Costs are usually doubled at private clinics. These figures exclude prenatal tests, which cost between $75 and $172 each. 

Hospitalization during Delivery

Mothers who have a normal delivery generally stay for two days, while those who have Cesarean section usually stay for five days. Additional such as epidural, come at an extra cost. A normal delivery at KKH, in the lowest ward category, will set you back at least $984. The same stay at Mount Alvernia Hospital will cost from $1,370 while that at Gleneagles Hospital is $1,698. Under the Medisave Maternity Package, you can claim $450 for each day spent in the hospital, plus an additional $450 and surgical withdrawal limit depending on the type of delivery procedure you undergo. 

 

AFTER DELIVERY

Confinement

For most Asian mothers, the first month after delivery is spent in confinement. During this time, a host of rules and traditions are followed to ensure that the mother’s body recovers fully from childbirth. It is common to engage a confinement nanny to help during this time. Costs for confinement nannies vary according to their experience and popularity, as well as the time period that she is required for. During the lunar new year, for instance, prices are increased one and a half times. Generally, during other months, the costs range between $2,000 and $3,000.

Medical Care for Baby

In the meantime, the new baby has to be cared for. In Singapore, there are 10 compulsory vaccinations that children need to take. All recommended immunizations under the National Childhood Immunization Programme (NCIP) (except Hepatitis B and Pneumococcal) are free of charge at all polyclinics for children who are Singapore citizens.

The rest are offered at polyclinics at a more affordable rate than at a private pediatrician. Some hospitals and clinics offer vaccination packages. At the Raffles Hospital for example, the vaccination package for a child from birth to six months of age costs $920.20, including GST.

* All costs are accurate as of 2 November 2012 for the above.

 

Cost Comparisons

Estimated Base Costs: $276,400

Average Estimated Costs by Parents: $400,000 – $450,000

Surveyed families mostly had combined incomes of about $8,000 to $10,000 a month.

If there seems to be a huge gap between our base costs and the parents’ estimates, it’s because:

• We take the average amounts for certain expenditures (e.g. We assume tuition will be around $420 and not the occasional highs of $1,000+, as was the case in some families)

• We haven’t factored in major medical costs, such as surgery, which was faced by some families

• We’re leaving out little details like insurance, lost opportunities from work, etc.

(The above source are from: here)

 

Have you ever thought about how much do you really need to raise a Child in Singapore? I did because I have to make sure that I am able to raise my two Child in Singapore. It's not a easy task, I know it's not going to be easy either but that doesn't give me a reason why I should give up on them or why I should regret giving birth to them. These thoughts has never crossed my mind no matter how tired I am because I love them and they're my precious one.

I thought that being a parent is easy when I wasn't one myself. I thought that all i have to do was to give birth to them, feed them, work and give them money, and etc, as simple as you could thought that it was to be but apparently it's not how it supposed to be until I become a Mom. Everything has change. My thoughts, my life has change and I am amazed at how big the changes are. 

 

I don't earn much but at least still could at least let the three of us survived. Thus, I do not have a choice but to seek help which is to get maintenance fees from my ex-Husband. From $800 for two Child, it was bargain to $700. I wasn't heartless even thou he was to me previously, after all we were ONCE husband and wife. But I've never thought that he would come bargaining with me again, despite that we've already come to the agreement. Why on Earth did someone even exist? I really don't understand.

$700, do you think that it's enough for two Child? To be honest, it's not at all. Let's say, one month, we've 30 days - let me give you a scenario; Two Child is $700, which is equivalent that 1 Child has only $350/mth and that means she only has $4,200 for a year. Now tell me, what can she do with $4,200/yr? Yes, she can for now. In the future? 

In another few months time, she'll studying and in a another years time, she'll proceed to higher education. She need her uniforms, school fees, traveling fees, pocket money for foods & drinks, and etc. Do you think that all these thing, their values/price would never increase or do you think that they'll decrease/drop? Dream on. 

If you have the money to buy branded, diamond and traveling or spending unnecessary money. Why not just save it and give them to your daughter? Now you want to bargain with me to cut off a hundred because you wanted to study? Please get a part time job than. I want to study also, but that doesn't give me an excuse to not feed my Child, that doesn't mean that I've to cut down on what I've spend on them? I'm not that kind of Mom. 

You can by all means to appeal if you want to, I have nothing against it because all it proves was that you're a irresponsible and self-centered person. 

 

I have two wonderful Child, they taught me to be a responsible person. 

They let me know that being a parent wasn't easy yet worthy. 

Their smile are the source for my energy. Their exist are the reason for my exist.

They are angels that God bless me with, I will not let go their hand for I never will.